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You'll be the talk of the block with this beauty, goes particularly well with baggy gym shorts and knee high tube socks.

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Praying the gay away

Were you born with a knack for interior design, hairdressing or dancing on Broadway? Maybe it starts early in life stemming from Bert and Ernie or an episode of Glee, but whatever the case being gay is apparently a disease that can be cured by prayer. Now you might as well be into bondage or bestiality in the eyes of the Lord and it only means Satan has a grip on you that can only be loosened by the power of prayer.

The signs of being gay are easy to spot when you know what to look for, once spotted you can begin praying the gay devil out of them immediately. Do they always seem happy, or giddy like they don't care who is watching as they outwardly express their sexuality? Do they exhibit an unnaturally unique knowledge of their own body parts and display that knowledge publicly? Once you are able to spot these ungodly behaviors you have taken the first step toward freeing them of a very real issue of sexual dysfunction in their life and sexual identity disorders.

What will happen if we don't rid the world of gays?

• People will be required to learn that homosexuality is normal, equal and perhaps you should try it

• Gays and those around them will have very real issue of sexual dysfunction in their life and sexual identity disorders

• If you’re involved in the gay and lesbian lifestyle, it’s bondage. It is personal bondage, personal despair and personal enslavement

• This is a very serious matter, because it is our children who are the prize for this community, they [gays] are specifically targeting our children

• The sex curriculum will be essentially by taught by the local gay community

• Our children will be forced to learn that homosexuality is normal and natural and that perhaps they should try it

All quotes directly from Michele Bachmann

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Palin: Milking Americans For All They Are Worth

While you can hear Sarah Palin preach about how the economy is going to collapse (for just $400 a ticket), catch her on a bus tour across America's heartland or donate to her SuperPAC while having zero idea where your money is going, nobody knows whether or not she'll run. The beauty of it is that she doesn't have to in order to milk the very same Americans she claims to be representing, she merely has to hint around to it.

No need to show up for straw polls and debates when you haven't officially entered the race, all you need to do is show up on the cockblock express, riding on the back of events that others in your party have spent their supporters PAC money in good faith on to set up.

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Obama Coming For Your Guns

It's been nearly three years and though we're still waiting for Obama's Marxist troops to march down our neighborhood streets to take our guns, it's still coming. Like any other red blooded patriot, I watch Fox News and back in 2008 they warned us so me and all my patriot brothers bought every gun and all the ammo Wal-mart had to offer and took up arms.

Well as it turns out, if we can hold our just another year and vote for Rick Perry we won't have to worry. We will be able to emerge from our bunkers and get a free handgun with every purchase of a 5th of JD from our local liquor store. Hang in there patriots, soon we'll be able to keep the guns we've never lost.

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Just The Right Amount of Teeth

Let me begin by saying there I don't care how anti-gay you claim to be, this man knows how to mouth a shaft. Also notice how gentle his fingers near the bottom are while giving just the right amount of squeeze, can't be sure from a still image but he's putting the pressure on, then taking it off, you can totally tell.

Then there's the left hand, minding the step-children, cupping them with the warm embrace of his firm hand. There is no doubt this thing is going to burst all over in his mouth, but only when Rick's ready and not a moment sooner.

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You Da Man

Michele Bachmann is in touch with the African American community. She's fought to keep Government out of their housing, food assistance and education subsidies because that would be keeping them down, hindering their ability to flourish out of the ghetto through prayer.

African Americans have it far better today than when they were slaves, to give them assistance when they are so entitled now hurts America and it's economy. Besides, didn't they get enough from stealing money after Hurricane Katrina?

So remember, Michele Bachmann is a friend to everyone equally unless you're gay, black, Mexican or Muslim.

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Rick Perry Knows Best

Rick Perry's followers know what's best for America and public schools obviously are not it. Perry also fights against the tyranny of overpaid teachers, factually correct history books, unions and minimum wage.

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Welfare Sucking Anchor Babies

It all seems innocent enough, swim on over to America, start having babies and then claim 14 of them at a time while sucking the welfare system dry. OUR TAX DOLLARS AT WORK. But it's even worse than you could ever imagine, these two CONSTITUTIONALLY ILLEGAL babies Consuela and Horhay Gonzalez Rodriguez Morales are sipping it up at the beach on our dime!

So apparently underage drinking laws don't apply to them either, what the fuck, just go ahead and litter those bottles all over the beach while you're at it. Don't worry, you have LIBERAL immunity to do whatever you want!

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Christine ODonnell walks off Piers Morgan set over gay marriage [Video]

The issue of Gay Marriage, while covered in her book, is a topic Christine O'Donnell did not want to discuss with Piers Morgan. In fact, his even asking about her views on it was rude, crude and socially unacceptable. You know Christine could've been at a women's club meeting at 6:00 where she was going to proudly speak about how the women of the tea party has set them back 50 years.

Shame on you for asking questions outlined in her book, Piers! See, this is exactly why CNN is labeled lame stream.

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New Sarah Palin iPhone App - iQuit

Hot off the iPhone app market comes the latest in political apps targeting Sarah Palin fans. From her first term as Governor to running for president, there's nothing that Sarah Palin won't quit.

You are able to track past and current dropped ventures with features such as a Bridge To Nowhere ™ where you can follow Mrs Palin's career.
You are also able to ask Gotcha Questions ™ such as "How was your day?" or "Did you have a pleasant bus trip?" and watch as Sarah gets flustered then spits out a phrase from our patented Random Gibberish Engine ™.

Whether it's following the Palin kids' adventures in per-marital sex and having babies to watching videos of that sexy Todd riding a snowmobile, this app has it all.

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Double chocolate chip cookie fail

F'n bullshit!

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GOP Pledge To America "Fuck You"

In the new (old) Republican Pledge To America Republicans are promising change, real change this time.

 Some of the highlights are:

• Tax cuts for the wealthy - Without rich people, the poor and middle class wouldn't have their coattails to ride on, so they need a break.


• Repeal of Healthcare reform - Pre-existing conditions are YOUR problem, don't blame the insurance company.


• Smaller Government - Except for wars.


• Saying NO - In the event that we become the majority, we promise to continue to say NO to everything, cock blocking any sort of progress. It's just who we are.


• No public funding for abortion - Nevermind that this was never actually the case, we figure most of you are, well dumb, that's right, dumb and will just believe us because without your fear, we don't really stand a chance.


• Cut spending - We promise not to bankrupt your grandchildren's future by spending money in America on American's. We, the GOP, pledge to you that we will only spend upwards of a trillion on tearing down and rebuilding third world countries.


• Jobs - We promise to do everything possible to give corporations tax breaks for shipping their jobs overseas. It's just cheaper that way.


• Unions - We'll ensure that you, as the employee, have zero rights in any way.


• Immigration - In America, if it isn't obvious that a person is outwardly white (American!) then they will have to provide citizenship documentation.

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Christine O'Donnell "I'm not a wicth"

She's "nothing you heard". Not even all that shit she said with her own mouth. Never mind that, her slogan at the end of this video is "I'm you" with a snarky shrug like what's wrong with all you goddamned people who hate my ass.

You are nothing like me, Christine. As a teen I fantasized about other women and beat my dick like it owed me money. That's what normal kids do, they don't "dabble" in witchcraft, like it's just some passing fad.

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